I posted this picture before I found out I was pregnant, off to visit a friend who had just given birth to a baby boy. In one of my previous blogs I mentioned that I always wanted a boy first and my son was born first 😊.
Two weeks after this photo was taken I found out that I was pregnant. I was over the moon with moon with excitement and couldn’t wait to share this amazing news. Having only one parent in my life left I thought it was only fitting to share the news with my dad. A day after we confirmed the test result we went over and told him. Although his face did not show much excitement he was happy for us, so he said. I was 5 weeks pregnant when we just heard the news ourselves. At work I had quite a few female colleagues who had just become mums not long before me. When I approached them and said ladies guess what… they immediately responded and said “you pregnant “. I could sense the ones that were genuinely happy for me and others who just said congratulations because I was in their presence. I didn’t let it bother me, I went on to tell more friends and family members about my news. However I left one very important person out – my brother. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I could hear the disappointment in his voice when he said he had to hear it from others that I was pregnant. Though we weren’t really close, all we had was each other and I forgot to tell him.
As the months went by friends and family checked in to see how I was doing, if everything was well with the baby and when was my due date. My dad came around and started to be more involved. He would check up on me while I was at my doctor’s appointments, made sure I ate right and was prepared for our little one. I took photos of my growing bump and only shared it with close friends. I was very self conscious and did not post any pictures of myself on social media throughout my pregnancy.
I was given two surprised baby showers. One by my friends and colleagues which took place at my house as I was put on early bed rest and the other was after my son was born, which was given by my family. He was a little eager beaver and came 5 weeks early, so he made it to attend his own baby shower. I remember how the ladies were hands on with me, that it actually allowed for my brother to spend my quality time with his nephew and even change his diaper while I enjoyed my baby shower. I was overwhelmed by the love and support showed by my family and friends. Now the first lot of people who I told about my exciting news, did not even congratulate me or ask about my little guy, and that’s when I realized who my “friends” really are. I made the decision to move on with my life there and then and not share so much personal information about myself.
With my second pregnancy I was scared to tell anyone. My health wasn’t too good and I was surprised by the news myself and we had a big new adventure awaiting us. The person I was most afraid to tell, reacted exactly as I thought he would. It was my dad! We told him a little over a month after we found out and just like the first time there was no excitement, but this time it followed with “oh my goodness not you too”. I can’t begin to explain how hurt I was, how many days I cried. I found comfort in my husband and friends who told me to look past that and focus on what’s coming into our lives.
I made a t-shirt for our son to wear to share the news some family members. I decided to share the news on my birthday, two weeks after we told my dad. And this time I made sure to show my brother first. The months went by and I carried really small, a few people started to notice. I didn’t deny it nor go into much detail, I just confirmed what their eyes saw. I was very active on Instagram, but made sure not to include more than my face in the pictures. Finally the nine months had passed and I gave birth. Unlike the first time I did not announce it on Facebook. I sent a WhatsApp message to my close contacts and let them know I had given birth. I shared a picture of my daughter’s first outfit on Instagram “Hello World 🌏” and deliberately kept her face out of the picture. It was our moment to enjoy her and admire her beauty, we were not ready to share that with anyone else.
Messages of congratulations started to come in and some people were actually shocked. I did leave out a friend or two unintentionally, while the rest I didn’t really bother with. Over the years learned to keep my circle small and close. I put in the time and effort with those who do the same for me. I realized not everyone deserves a front row seat in my life and I’m ok with that.