How has my social life changed since becoming a mum?

Growing up you always have friends in your life. These friendships are formed in primary school, high school, university and even in our neighborhoods. When we are young it’s so easy to make friends, you can strike up a conversation with just about anyone you meet. Friends of friends become your friends and before you know it you have this wide network of people in your circle. But do they actually stay in your circle?

Over time the friends you had in primary has gone off to different schools and you fortunate enough if you still stay in touch. Collegaues move onto better positions and companies, and even people in the neighborhood move on as well. We all on social media, but are we really on there to stay connected to old friends and regain those connections or is it a numbers game to see how many people you know and just adding people because they a friend of a friend?

When I finished high school we moved to another province and I tried to stay in touch through social media, I even went back to visit every few years and already felt friendships drifting away. I decided to make the effort with those who had done the same for me despite our distance. I made new friends in a place I began to call home again. I was the first one to get married out of all my friends, yes my priorities changed and tried to maintain that friendship by doing couple things as we used to but it so different. I went on from being the first one to get married to the first who became a mum out of all my friends. Suddenly I noticed my circle getting smaller. Friends became distant, we didn’t share the same interest and our conversations were different.

Of the friends that I lost I gained new ones who were living the same lifestyle as I was. Welcome to the mummy club. They never ignored me or got upset if I returned a text 2 days later because I was busy or too tired or just preoccupied with my little ones. Their invitation to together actually happened, instead of the same old “we should get together sometime ” that would take 9 months before it actually happened. I don’t miss the spontaneous notice to get done because we going out tonight. I am a mother, a stay at home mother. I need at least a few days notice before going out, this hair is not going to fix itself. I need to organize a babysitter, prepare meals for my family and just take sometime out to make sure I actually look and feel good before I go out.

Well I am very lucky to have reconnected with a best friend of mine from primary school. Our paths crossed again after 13 years. We have so much in common just as we used to when growing up only now it’s even better because we are both mums and get how our lives has changed completely. And I realized I don’t need that many friends. The ones I have in my current circle is enough for me. All my time, energy and effort is now focused on my kids. I appreciate my friends more you aren’t mums yet but have stuck by my side through all the changes in my life.

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