I can’t wait until you …

Every parent longs for the arrival of their bundle of joy. In our minds we already picked out the sweetest nicknames, our first family outing and the many things we want to teach them.

As a woman and mother you enjoy your pregnancy, then you get to that point when you just want it over with and you want to hold that tiny person in your arms and admire their tiny hands and feet. You went through the process of carrying and protecting this baby on the inside, now you are ready to do the same on the outside. You think to yourself, I can’t wait to see your face, to give you that first bath, to wear this cute little outfit that I picked out when I just found out we were expecting you. We have a lot of these “I can’t wait moments “, but what actually happens in the moments we are in? Here is my story 😊…

When my son was born he was a really tiny baby weighing 2.6kg. All the clothes we bought him was 0-3 months, I carried very big so we thought he would be a huge baby. Obviously all his clothes were too big and we didn’t have anything else to dress him in. A friend of ours went and got him preemie clothing just as cute. Everyday felt like a photoshoot session because I wanted to capture these adorable moments. I couldn’t wait for him to move onto the newborn size clothing and eventually the 0-3 months. Although it took forever to get there, around 4 months old he gradually started putting on the weight and wore his 0-3 months old clothes.

After the first week at home we realized that he is a colic baby. The next three months that followed were really hard. I remember saying to my husband if this is what having a baby is like I don’t want anymore. Everyday I would look at the calendar and tell myself, just x amount of days left until the 17th then he will be another month older and it will get easier and he will be more fun to play with. We all know the first 2 months they don’t really do much besides eat, sleep and poop. After I told friends and family that I didn’t want anyone around I got bored with my own company and a newborn who doesn’t do much. I watched series on end, took walks outside, anything to pass the time. After three months it did get easier and a lot more fun. He wasn’t crying as much and it was easy for me to go out on my own with him. I watched other parents with their kids who was slightly older than he was, and I would say I can’t wait until he is that age so the we can experience those things to.

I spent 6 months at home alone with him until I had to go back to work. During that time I kept wondering what it will be like once he starts sitting up, crawling, trying out new foods and grabbing onto toys. The time had passed so quickly and before I knew it he was doing all those things and I could barely remember what were the things that made him go “ooh and ahh” when he was only a few months old. I rushed through all his baby moments without actually enjoying them. I missed out on all his trips to get his vaccines. My husband looked after him when I returned back to work and they created their own special bond. When he just started walking my husband sent me a video clip, I had mixed emotions. I cried tears of happiness, joy and at the same time sadness as I had to see it on video for the first time instead of being present when it actually happened. I know we can’t predict when the greatest moments of our kids lives will be, but we wish to be there for them all and share in their excitement.

This time round with my daughter I sometimes forget how old she is because I am simply taking it all in. I know that this time around I get to spend much more time at home with her than I did with our son. And sometimes the thought of one whole year at home doesn’t feel like enough. So I have learned to live in the moment. Capture every frown, every smile and every giggle. They are only babies once. Though their features change daily, so does their hearts. It grows bigger with so much love to offer, they learn so much about themselves like “hey I have these little toes I can wiggle “. So let’s be patient and grow with them together.

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